


What Did You Do To Piss Natasha Off?

by lilithtorch2



Series: Gossiping and Bickering [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Assume everyone can afford a camera at any time, Established friendship/relationship, Eye shadow, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hair Gel, Make-up, Plotless, Spoilers, venting about makeup on superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier lost a bet with Natalia Romanova and must suffer the consequences, which somehow involve cosmetics and ribbons. His guy friends, past and present, are unsympathetic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Did You Do To Piss Natasha Off?

**Author's Note:**

> The eye makeup on the Winter Soldier in the CA2:TWS trailer didn't bug me as much as the one he wore for Empire magazine. But it always bothered me that once you put on the eye mask or the hood or even wear makeup no one can tell who you are.
> 
> Oliver Queen actually pulled off the eye mask well, I was surprised.

On this weekend, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were relaxing in their apartment. Natasha Romanoff, who was living with them, was out buying groceries for the week, and Tony Stark was stopping by for a visit to check up on his "two ancient dinosaurs." Suddenly, Steve walked up to Bucky with a small piece of paper in his hands.

"Hey, Bucky?" Steve asked Bucky curiously.

"Yeah?"

Steve raised an eyebrow as he stared at whatever he was holding in his hand. "You look...very patriotic here," he began slowly, and handed Bucky the paper, which turned out to be a photo.

Bucky realized with dismay that it was not just any photo, but _the_ photo, the one he thought would never see the light of day. He quickly swiped it away from Steve's hands."Oh, my god! Nat didn't tell me she still had that one of me!"

Tony Stark, sensing a juicy scandal, immediately yanked the old photo from Bucky's hands and gave a good look at it for minutes before he finally let out a long laugh for hours.

"Wow, Bucky," he finally said, catching his breath, "what the hell did you do to piss Natasha off?"

* * *

The Winter Soldier was eventually on better terms with Natalia Romanova and her sister, Ana, even though he and Natalia would still argue with each other on a frequent basis over tactics and fighting styles. Recently, the Winter Soldier had lost a bet with Natalia and he was trudging along the corridors to the room that Natalia and Ana shared, with only his friend and Ana’s boyfriend, Erik, tagging along for emotional support. Natalia had already told him of the consequences of losing the bet and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with it. What were these two girls going to do to him? He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know, but his honor demanded that he knock on the door to Natalia and Ana’s room, and he and Erik waited for the girls to let them in.

Instead, a girl’s voice asked from inside the room, “Ana, did you hear that?”

The giddy response: “Well, no, Natalia, I did not!”

Giggles bubbled out from Natalia and Ana’s room.

“You’re really going to make me work for this, aren’t you, Natalia?”

“You’re the one who said you’d win, and now look what happened!”

He sighed and knocked the door three more times, making sure that Natalia would hear him knock this time.

 _Finally_ Ana opened the door. She greeted Erik tenderly and ceremoniously welcomed the two boys into their room. Ana motioned for Erik to sit on the ground next to Natalia’s bed and pulled out a chair for the Winter Soldier to sit on. The Winter Soldier noticed that Natalia was rummaging around in her room, gathering some items together.

“You’ll see what we’re going to do to you,” Ana assured him confidently.

Natalia placed the items in a pile on her bed, and turned to face the Winter Soldier. “Don’t look so sullen,” she comforted him, trying her best not to cackle wickedly. “You lost our bet; you know what the terms were.”

He didn’t say anything to this and only glared at Erik when the other boy started to agree with Natalia.

He looked closer at the items on Natalia’s bed and his eyes widened even more.

“You will be done faster,” Natalia ordered, “if you _don’t move._ ”

“So sit still,” Ana suggested.

Natalia dabbed something and spread it on the Winter Soldier’s face “to cover up his blemishes,” she explained patiently and “make his skin paler.” They made him close his eyes and spent a rather long time brushing his eyelids with something. He opened his eyes and Natalia carefully outlined his eyes with a pencil and rubbed around his eyes. He could not understand how the girls were using so many brushes just to do something to his face.

The girls paused.

“Erik,” Ana cooed, “would you like to help us?”

The Winter Soldier glared at Erik like a man betrayed and Erik only gave him an apologetic smile. “Have to listen to Ana,” he shrugged, grinning. He asked Ana what they wanted him to do, and now Erik was doing something to his face too.

“What color lipstick do you girls have?” Erik asked them curiously. He was getting into this.

“No. _No lipstick,_ ” the Winter Soldier insisted, but all three conspirators ignored him.

Natalia suddenly remarked that the Winter Soldier didn’t look pale enough while Ana thought he needed some blue hues to balance out the black around his eyes and all three were fussing over his face again. Ana grabbed something and had the nerve to put a smiley face on the red star on the Winter Soldier’s metallic arm. “For good luck,” Natalia explained. Then Ivan had the idea that while they were at it, they should start painting his nails; the ones on his right hand and Natalia’s face lit up. She got out nail polish of different shades of red, black and blue.

“This time you _absolutely_ need to hold still,” Natalia warned him, and she held out his hand and painted. As they waited for the nail polish to dry, Natalia and Ana got Erik to spray something on the Winter Soldier’s long dark hair. The Winter Soldier heard the painful whooshing sound of the hairspray past his ears and wondered how the girls were trying to mess up his hair. He saw Natalia hand Erik some red ribbons and realized with horror that they were going to tie them on his hair.

After three grueling hours, Natalia, Ana, and Erik looked appreciatively at the Winter Soldier, taking in all the details of the work they had done on him. There was a long pause as the Winter Soldier stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do next, until Natalia looked at him expectantly.

Oh. _Right_. The terms of their bet dictated that after Natalia and Ana were finished painting his face and doing horrible untold things to his hair and his metallic arm, he had to do a little twirl the way Natalia taught him to do.

“And don’t forget to curtsy,” Natalia reminded him seriously. The two girls and Erik watched in amusement as the Winter Soldier did was he was told. Ana chortled gleefully.

“We think it will help you be stealthier,” Natalia told the Winter Soldier with a straight face. The Winter Soldier rolled his eyes; there was a reason she had the best poker face of everyone here.

“Oh, definitely,” Ana agreed with her sister, laughing, “no one will know who you are.” She laced her words with lots of sarcasm.

The Winter Soldier turned to Erik. “And what do _you_ think, traitor?”

Erik was not afraid and simply told him that he thought he “looked great.” Natalia and Ana began to discuss the Winter Soldier’s appearance in further detail.

“Eye shadow does look rather good on him,” Natalia commented in awe. She grabbed more of the creamy and powdery stuff and dabbed some more around his eyes and his cheeks.

“Do you want it to be part of his uniform now?” Ana asked her.

“I’m considering it,” Natalia answered thoughtfully. “Oh and his hair, I love what you’ve done with it, Erik! Ana, the smiley face is a nice touch.”

Erik had the nerve to chime in. “I rather adore the nail polish.”

“How long will you make me keep this makeup on for? And I really need to wash off the hairspray.” He did not like the way the makeup and the hairspray felt on him. He touched his hair; it felt spikier than he preferred and imagined that it made him look like a porcupine.

Erik the traitor patted him sympathetically on the back while Natalia wordlessly handed him a mirror.

The Winter Soldier looked at his reflection.

As he turned around, he heard a click and saw a flash of light. Natalia, Ana, and Erik had doubled over in laughter.

This was the worst night he ever had and he hoped he wouldn't have to relive it later. But seeing the normally serious Natasha howl like that...

It made him laugh too.

* * *

"I wish I had been there to see it, Bucky." Steve concluded.

Bucky looked at his brother curiously. "Why?"

"Even when you and Natasha were 'just friends'," he teased, "you were so whipped!"

And Bucky punched Steve in the arm in retaliation.

They were traitors, he sighed. All of them.


End file.
